No, sorry to say I’m not announcing a sequel that ensures jobs for our young porcine friends, although it’s an intriguing thought. Would zombies chase Babe for his brains? Or would he try and round them up?
No, this is about survival come the Apocalypse. What do we eat? Whatever you read lists everything from MREs, to hunting animals, eating roots, fruit on trees, etc. Others want to continually raid stores for tinned goods.
I bought two packs of bacon on the 24th January; one of them is pictured here. I promptly cooked one pack up for a bacon buttie – yum. Unfortunately it was not the gourmand pleasure I hoped for. In the frying pan it began well enough but started releasing huge amounts of fat. After a couple of minutes it began to go crispy and my mouth watered – no problem, I’ll drain off the fat before serving. Unfortunately it quickly cooked too far, going thin and dry, coated in a burnt surface – not very appetising. All this in a medium heat pan – I can cook bacon. After this experience I decided to give the contents of the second pack to the foxes.
As it happens I forgot the pack until last night when I got it out of the fridge, deciding that as it wasn’t raining that I’d throw it out onto the grass for the foxes. I looked closely at it and saw that its appearance was exactly the same as the day it was bought. There was no greying, no curling, nothing. It was ‘perfect’. A day under 3 weeks after purchase there was no sign of it going off. The use by date was the 12th February so it should have been showing its age. I smelled it, still the same rich smoked smell. Worryingly perfect, in fact.
What’s my point? Quite apart from my surprise that the pack was still in perfect condition and edible – if you like that kind of thing, I’ve never had any bacon last that well from a supermarket – it occurred to me that in an apocalypse, where the thought of survival doesn’t revolve around the quality of food we eat so much as whether we can actually get any, don’t overlook the strangely preserved ‘fresh’ food sections of supermarkets. It seems likely that, if you can get yourself some bread, butter and tomato ketchup, you can still have a bacon buttie and remember things past. I have many friends of different religious persuasions; the one thing most of them agree upon is that the smell of bacon cooking is too hard to resist. The foxes ate it, by the way.
Perhaps this might be the bringing together of the zombie and non-zombie under the roof of agreement and pleasure – a bacon buttie. Never under-estimate it as a food source.
Zombie books by David K Roberts:
The Common Cold: A Zombie Chronicle
The Common Cold: A Zombie Chronicle – Cabin Fever (Sequel)
Return Of A King: A Zombie Chronicle