Old Tyres And Zombie Sausages

They say that your appetite starts with the eyes. Imagine it’s evening and you’ve just eaten dinner. Sitting in front of the telly, you’re watching the Food Channel. Sometimes the food isn’t that great but then they show pork being slow-cooked for a pulled-pork special. You start to drool and you’re wondering why that’s the case because dinner’s still making its way into your intestines. My wife says it’s a man-thing – pulled-pork, that is. But it goes beyond that, it’s a visual treat and part of the eating process.

Burger King JapanWho doesn’t like well-presented food? Apparently the answer to that question is in Japan. At Burger King they are offering burgers made from old tyres, at least that’s what it looks like. I imagine you end up with black teeth after eating the black cheese in a black bun – assuming you’d want to put it in your mouth in the first place. What should put the cap on your delectation is the fact that the cheese and the bun are mixed with bamboo charcoal (I presume bamboo is an important distinction) giving you that fresh Dunlop or Goodyear look, along with squid ink-dyed ketchup. Very Goth.

I’ve looked at the picture and read the description and still the juices fail to flow. My appetite remains dull and lacklustre; maybe I should think about pulled-pork.

On a similar and possibly equally disgusting note, how about they sell zombie sausages as well. Think about it, catch a zombie, feed it meat, and what comes out the other end can only be a sausage – there’s no digestion going on because it’s a straight-through process. Flavour them any way you like: mix the meat with herbs and spices and stick it in the kitchen of your local greasy spoon and there you have it, perpetual sausage production for the masses. Who said zombies can’t be a useful member of a community? It can’t be worse than vulcanised cheese and buns, surely?

What? You’re horrified at the thought? Some of the most expensive coffee is first pooped out by monkeys, so my suggestion isn’t really that far out there, now is it?

Books by the Author – available worldwide on all good eBook stores:

The Common Cold: A Zombie Chronicle (first in Trilogy)

The Common Cold: A Zombie Chronicle – Cabin Fever (second in Trilogy)

The Common Cold: A Zombie Chronicle – Dez Rez (third in Trilogy)

The Common Cold: A Zombie Chronicle Trilogy – three books in one

Return Of A King: A Zombie Chronicle (first in trilogy)

Return Of A King: A Zombie Chronicle – Z Factor (second in trilogy)

The Animus Portal

Fierce Alchemy

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