Neighbours And The Zombie Apocalypse

We all have them, some we love and some we loathe. Come the big day, will neighbours and the Zombie Apocalypse collide?

Neighbours And The Zombie Apocalypse david k roberts
Probably not these Neighbours

Man is an opportunistic creature, a strange mixture of altruism and self-interest resides within us all. Assuming you are not at work or on holiday when the ZA strikes, you will probably be at home. Perhaps you will go outside, wondering what is going on only to be attacked by a frothing-at-the-mouth neighbour who has succumbed to the awful end we all dread. If you have sense you will remain indoors until you have made some sort of decision as to what to do. If this is your big plan, don’t forget to fill anything that holds water, you could be stranded for quite a while.

A few hours in and you’re still alive. You start thinking about your next steps: do you try and go it alone and/or remain with those in your household, or do you try and get to your friends and loved ones if not with you already? Eventually you will start thinking about your neighbours. Are there any you would want to help, ignore, or even take drastic action against? I’m not being morbid or thinking vindictive thoughts. Consider this, if you are thinking like this, so are they. Are you now realising the risk you are under from non-zombies that live nearby?

Neighbours And The Zombie Apocalypse david k robertsWe’ve all seen programmes featuring neighbours from hell, those people for whom a leaf falling on their property creates a litigious opportunity or worse. People who will never relent on the most trivial of things. What if they are thinking as I’ve just described – perhaps they see the Zombie Apocalypse as an ideal time to remove neighbours that have been giving them a hard time. If you don’t at least consider the ramifications of the breakdown of law and order beyond mere marauding thugs to consider your emotion-filled and perhaps psychotic neighbours, then you may be in for a big surprise.

So, what’s the answer? Go out there and kill them? Well, I would not do this for three reasons: 1. You have to go outside and risk your life among the zombies, 2. Your neighbour might just be a better fighter than you, your sticky end leaving your loved ones further at risk, and 3. Perhaps wantonly killing breathers is a bad thing to do for the future of mankind.

In the end, as with all threats, don’t go looking for trouble, instead, be prepared for it when it comes troubling you. Beef up your security, make sure you have appropriate weapons to hand in each room, and secure your doors properly. Finally, if there is more than one person in your digs, make sure someone is awake at all times.

And if you are in the UK and don’t have access to guns, pray your neighbour doesn’t either!

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